I know it has been a while and I apologize. I have had some recent requests from probably the only three loyal readers I have, so I decided to give them what they wanted. This post addresses the recent concerns I have with a few certain modes of communication (facebook and text).
I know I have preached about this before, but honestly when did not talking in person stop and become abnormal? Why is it acceptable to ask a girl out in such a cowardly manner? It does not help you out as a guy you know and for us girls who have respect for ourselves, it puts a strike or two against you. Do you not realize that it is 1,00000000 times better to call a girl? Though it should be a norm, it is especially essential in this day and age because you'll get brownie points for doing something that you should have done anyway. It's a win win. So why do you not do it?
I gave someone my number on jdate and he asked me out still through a jdate IM convo. The date did not happen because of the weather and the holidays and then he texted after the holidays, "happy new year what's going on?" I of course replied with the only possible response in a text, which is something along the lines of "you too, not too much going on." He responded with something like "nothing too special" and it ended there. Really? This is why you text me? Now I not only think you are immature and lacking confidence, but I also think you are not witty or comical and verging on the side of boring. That was a total turnoff to be quite honest. Do not text us for no reason, especially if you have nothing to say.
I also recently met someone who then friended me on FB. In a message saying we shoud hang out I provided my number... he didn't even have to ask for it and he STILL wrote back in a FB message! Um what? I mean I guess we don't have much to say, but call a girl to ask her if she's busy Thursday night. It is not that hard.
Guys- what is the hang up about the phone? (no punn intended...okay it was intended)
Why are you so opposed to having a normal conversation?
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first off, there is another blog called sincerelyvenus...and you are sincerely~venus...very tricky...
ReplyDeleteNow on to comment on the blog b/c let's be honest people, that's really why you read this blog...for my and phil's comments...
I 100% disagree with your assessment of the situation. For 1, why do you assume that the guy is solely sending you a txt message? Did it say your name on it? I used to send multiple txt messages out at the same time and then see who responded. Then i'd talk to the one who was most interesting...soooo maybe he umm...got a better response from someone else and ended up talking to them instead?
Now that that's settled...let's move on to the FB/txt asking out (which is clearly different from the txt "what's up?" For every 1 girl that doesn't like that form of communication, there will be a girl who does. you can't make them all happy (assuming you are playing the odds) the best bet is to send a message b/c once again...a phone conversation can last 20+ minutes (longer with your family...you all like to yap). So by sending out a bunch of emails you are bound to get 1 girl who will go out with you. It's like cold calling/ fishing. If you make enough calls, throw out enough lines, someone is going to bite. You make get a bunch of girls thinking "why the #%# doesn't this guy just call" but 1 will always bite.
So while you are thinking like a girl...this guy(s) is/are well...thinking like a guy...
oh, and i love your yappie family.
ok... #1 of course MBDres would have read and commented on this ASAP, he loves venus :). But, #2 I am totally against this method of thinking. I like a fcbk message or text in the middle of the day to say hi, or just let me know that you are thinking about me (especially when I was at work and did not have time to chat), but seriously if I am at the point where I am going to consider going on a date with you, we better have spoken on the phone first. And, hopefully for an extended period of time. That is how you hopefully know what you are getting yourself into before you are stuck on an awful date with a guy who can only text or e-mail. I also enjoy the flirtatious text interchange. However if a guy really doesn't pick up the phone to talk to you or asks you out via text, especially at the last minute- he sucks and is totally not worth your time. And, the idea that guys just send out multiple texts and e-mails hoping to see what girl answers is kinda sad. After being around guys who are into online dating, I have really noticed just how much effort guys place on meeting girls. I was never really a fan of J date or any online dating in which I had to search out a guy. I would rather someone find me or us meet in a natural circumstance like through a friend, at a party or reconnecting with a friend or someone from your past. Instead of spending my time online, i'd rather focus my efforts on flirting and going out with my girlfriends to places where cute guys might be!
ReplyDelete"However if a guy really doesn't pick up the phone to talk to you or asks you out via text, especially at the last minute- he sucks and is totally not worth your time. "
ReplyDelete-umm...well i DID this before I met you so i'm gonna have to ask? am i a waste of your time or could it be that when we do that we just aren't that into you and will only make that extra effort for someone whom we deem worthy?
As for your comment that you would never meet someone on FB/online you technically we did meet online. I was home for t-day and bored and you were at work, i struck up a conversation. before that we hadn't talked in 10 years soooo i'll leave it up to the readers to decide whether you are hypocritical or not.
ps i love you very much Eeems don't hit me b/c i wrote this. The last bruise is still there.
I disagree with the majority of what MBDres said and Eems for once agree with you. I honestly think Dres is trying to get a rise out of me by posting ridiculous comments. Now, trust me, I have many guy friends who are shady when dealing with girls and only out for one thing, however, none of those send out mass texts. They may have a couple girls around at once and text all frequently, but they do not do general texts. This is because then they'd definitely lose the "bait" as the term goes from the streets. They send texts with purpose to keep the girl around and keep her interested. In addition, you say things and act like they're scientific results, but somehow I do not think they are. "For every one girl who does't like text/FB, one does?" Seriously? No girl prefers for a guy to not pay her quality attention or act as though she's just another girl he's contacting in a message sent to twenty others. In addition, I am not saying I need a guy to call every day to see how my day was...I've had that and it's too much. But, come on, a call to ask a girl out or to confirm a second date is just the mature thing to do.
ReplyDeletevenus...this is a post by a very famous blogger...please read the second paragraph...i was not kidding at all. Either the guys you asked lied to you or are fools not to do it.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ruminations.com/column/82
and for the record i am completely in love with eeems and never did it to her.
ReplyDelete