How Long Are We Supposed To "Go With The Flow?"

This post is in dedication to all of you girls who have gone out on a date with someone, thought it was fine, reported back to your mother/grandmother who said, "what's the problem!?" "give him another try..." or who made up some excuse as to why you didn't hit it off. A classic one: "maybe he's just shy" or "maybe he was nervous." I dedicate this to girls because I think when guys feel no spark, they don't think twice. They just don't call her back.

The point is, sometimes there are sparks and sometimes there aren't. The question is, how long are you supposed to date someone with little to no spark? I was talking to a friend of mine today who was on a date with a hot, tall (important for her b/c she's tall) doctor (important for all of us ha). The date was fine; he was a nice guy. Unfortunately, she doesn't think she laughed once. Clear sign of no sparks if I've ever heard one. Of course, the questions soon arose ...Was he shy? Was he nervous? Will it be better next time? Should I see him again? I have had this issue as well. I went out with someone a couple of times who was nice, not always a perfect gentleman, very smart and interesting, but just did not make me laugh. Therefore, I was somewhat bored on the dates. When I'd describe the date all I could say was, "it was fine...not bad, not great, but fine." Eventually I had to tell him I didn't feel the sparks, and I'm not kidding, that's literally what I said. haha There's almost no better way to describe it. You could substitute sparks with chemistry, but I personally prefer sparks.

Anyway, how many chances are you supposed to give someone? It's so difficult because if you've never met the person before, one or two dates will definitely not do them justice, but then after two you owe him a real person-to-person reason as to why you do not like him. In addition, if you were to realllllly get to know that person it would take numerous dates and by then he'd definitely expect to be hooking up with you, if not having sex, and you still barely know him/are deciding if you even like the guy you're getting to know. This system is just impossible. I usually give up after the second date if there are few to little sparks because I don't want to end up feeling like I owe him anything, nor do I want to feel like we're heading to something more serious than I'd like. It's hard enough to end it with someone I've been on 1-2 dates with as it is! On the other hand, I know I do not know someone well enough to really judge after a date or two. Though, I think initial chemistry is important. That's my conclusion and I'm sticking to it. Will I end up alone like Gottlieb? Perhaps.