Being Friends With "The Ex" ...Es Posible o No?

This is one of those topics that's interesting just to analyze and discuss because there are so many possible circumstances and conditions under which remaining friends with an ex could occur, although to be honest I think the majority of the time it is not possible. I have done some research by speaking with friends and am compiling their thoughts in this post just for you! It's basically your lucky day.

Anyway, so we have come to the agreement that it is possible to remain friends, but only under specific conditions, which rarely exist.

In order to be friends, the relationship obviously has to end amicably, which is also rarely the case. It is uncommon to have a true mutual break up where both sides are in total agreement and have little to no bitter feelings afterward,  but this must exist in order to have and maintain a true friendship.

Furthermore, I hink it definitely takes time to go from seeing each other in one light and acting a certain way to seeing each other in a much different light. It's like going backwards in time, which is really hard to do. You have to all of a sudden not associate a large part of your life with this person, both mentally and physically. When you are used to that person's company, support, and physical touch, it is weird and difficult to all of a sudden not spend time with that person and not be able to enjoy that person's company or touch in the same way. This is why I say you need time first to separate yourself from those feelings and dependencies.

In addition, there can be ZERO lingering feelings. I think this is also tricky because if you were attracted to that person, you probably still are physically attracted (at least on the surface). It is hard to all of a sudden throw those feelings away or ignore them well enough to not let it interefere in a newly platonic relationship.

One of my exes really wanted to be friends and hang out and have things be like they used to be, but what he didn't realize is that it can never be how it used to be because then we'd be dating again and have feelings for each other and act in that manner. I cannot act flirty with him because we are not together and I need to keep those boundaries. It was difficult for him because he still had some residual feelings and wanted cross back over those boundaries. Don't worry, I was strong and held my ground and really explained how it will never be like that again. It can't. I felt bad because I stated VERYYY clearly that I did not feel like how I used to feel and would never feel that way. It was harsh, but it got the point across. Unfortunately, it kinda ended any chances for a friendship. It's just not possible if someone wants it to be more.

I do not know many cases where two people can be great friends with no hopes for a future reunion, but I do know of two specific examples. When I asked my friend how he and his ex gf were able to maintain the friendship, he said, "we remain friends because we were very honest with each other. We do not  blame each other for the mistakes we made; instead, we laugh about them." In addition, their breakup was very mutual, though I forget the exact reasoning behind it.

I think another condition that would be helpful is if you both have moved on. Though, by then you probably won't really care to have much of a friendship because you'll be busy with the new person.

Lastly, if the bf or gf turns out to be gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), this also helps diffuse any blame or difficulties in coping with the break-up. Trust me, I've seen it firsthand.

To sum up the post, it is generally VERY difficult and only happens on rare occasions. If he is still into you or you are still into him, do not try it because it will not be pretty.