The First Hook-Up: what is acceptable and what is just NOT okay

So I am posting this instead of going to bed so that everyone will not be disappointed when they check Sincerely Venus as soon as they wake up. I knowwwww this is the first thing you do before taking that retainer out and brushing your teeth. Or is that just me?

Anyway, this posting is to help guys and for pure entertainment purposes. This is when I get to share to the world some of my horrendous hook-up experiences! The time has finally come. These are the stories that helped to inspire my writing because in college everyone said I should write a book of all of my crazy/horror hook-up stories. So here's a glimpse into my quite personal life...

These rules are for when you actually like the girl and are not just using her because you're horny and she's there, not that you ever do that of course.

DO NOT pressure the girl. It is the first hook-up and should be light and sweet. Someone I know says and I quote " first hook-ups are for kisses and cuddles." While this sounds cheesy I like the point it makes and agree. I am very happy to take things slow and just kiss and cuddle. I think most girls are too, especially because it shows you are not all about the hook-up and can respect her enough to stop there (at least that's what I think).

If the girl ends up sleeping over as so often happens on a drunk night or a night where you're both too tired or someone lives sorta far, be a good host. Give her comfy pjs, bring her some water to put by her bedside (she may need it if she's drunk, if it's me I DEF need it), make sure the room temp is okay, etc. Be considerate because it is pretty uncomfortable to sleep in a strange bed with someone you barely know (not that I've ever done that).

If she sleeps over: DO NOT SLEEP NAKED! Here's the story...ready? So, I hooked up with a guy, went to his place where there were I'm pretty sure 3 big dogs (two his, one his bro's) and two cats, which were his other brother's that he was cat sitting. So keep in mind- 5 animals. We get there, start making out, and all of a sudden the dog starts shi*ting in the corner of his bedroom! Smelled horrible and was disgusting! OBV a mood killer. After that was cleaned up, things progressed in the bedroom. We just kissed and I ended up getting pressured to stay over because no cabs would pick up the phone an he was not so willing to drive me back (wonder why? insert: be a gentleman and don't make the girl feel guilty for you driving her home). So, eventually it's time for bed and he asks if I would mind if he slept in the nude! During the night the 3 huge dogs jumped on and off the bed pretty much all night long! They barked and I don't know I am sure the cats jumped up as well. Finally, I said can you please do something with them. The dogs were literally laying on top of my body and they were big! I was trapped. UCH. what a horrible evening.

This goes along with sleeping in the nude, but do not let any abnormal behaviors come out yet! It is the first sleepover. You must wait! Here's my other story... sophomore year a certain someone came to my dorm room wasted. I of course was pretty sober. This guy put on music in my tiny room and wanted to start a dance party of two. I went along with it while dying of laughter (PS I am starting to realize maybe I am just as ridiculous as these guys since I went along with these things). So we're dancing and he's probably saying weird stuff and falling all over the place then next thing I know, he grabbed my sorority paddle off my wall and SPANKED ME with it! I was like omg what is going on??? This is NOT OK, NOT NORMAL.

I took control of the situation by taking it back and telling him it was not a toy. To this day we joke about this story and the guy claims he has no recollection. Moral of the story: do not do weird stuff try your best to be normal and do not say anything weird/offensive. This guy also that night  (first time we ever hooked-up) criticized my kissing style! The nerve of him, especially because he was obw wrong. Though, if you guys out there do make a mistake, don't worry for some reason that didn't stop me from hooking up with him again. I must not have had many other options? JK (he reads this) I actually think I just thought he was so insane that it was funny, so I kept him around.

Make sure to offer to take her home and/or to walk her to the metro no matter how late or tired YOU are. A guy once let me walk to the metro at like 3 AM alone and I didn't even know the area well. I even asked in a cute way if he'd walk me and he basically said no. That is just soooo rude and selfish.

When sleeping/not hooking up, cuddle. If you like her and she likes you, she'll prob loveeee your arms around her. For me, even though I cannot sleep at all like that it's a catch 22 because I want to sleep, but I also love someone's arms around me. I ususally never sleep anyway with a guy so I'd choose the arms, ESPECIALLY if they're muscular.

In the AM- if you like her, do not act like it was a mistake. Do not stop being touchy and run out of there/kick her out of there just because all of a sudden the sun is out. Stay a while...hang out, suggest getting breakfast, cuddle, kiss/hug goodbye etc. My friend's current bf like ran out the next AM which made her not feel so great.

Hooking up in the AM- now everyone prob thinks differently, but me personally, I do not realllly want to hu in the AM the first time (prob?). I feel hideous because I either have no makeup on or have it smeared all over my face/eyes, have morning breath, have big bags under my eyes from not sleeping, and am so exhausted beause I prob didn't sleep at all. I just usually feel very unattractive and not in the mood. I just want to get home (yes this is a slight contradiction to my hang-out/breakfast comment). In addition, things are different in the daylight. What can I say, sometimes I get a little shy.

Not sure about the flow or quality of this post, but I am fading. Please continue to comment because these are a lot of work (sacrificing sleep over here) and I like to know that it is for a purpose. Thanks to everyone so far! Going for 20 followers this week. Get your friends to follow!