Too Much Too Soon?

A few comments before I begin... One, this is not a Blog about sex or advice on how to be a good hookup. I never said I was an authority on those topics and do not claim to really be qualified to give any advice on anything. I am just here giving my opinion and you can take it or leave it, agree or disagree. In addition, I have decided to not give detailed updates on my personal dating/love life. I will draw from personal stories or topics, but I do not even know if I feel comfortable with my sex life on here, much less other people's. I mean I am trying to find a new job next year and I do not know how they'd feel about that.

So, this post is about the aggressive guy who comes on strong. Now, I always enjoy the aggressive types especially because I myself am not and if I don't act, someone else needs to.  However, there is that line between aggressive and putting pressure on someone too early into a relationship. Remember that quote, the first date is for kisses and cuddles? That doesn't mean the second date is fair game and take advantage of however far you can get. Please try to remember to be respectful and realize some girls may not feel comfortable with certain advances early on and in addition, they may also not be comfortable having to vocalize their discomfort. If you are starting to date someone and the first date goes well. Treat her with that same respect and expectations for the second date. Do not come on too strong and ask to see her many times from that point on. You need to still seem cool and not sooo available. While it is nice to know for sure that this guy definitely likes me, it is also too much to ask for numerous occassions to hang out after the first date. Give the girl some space.

For me personally, I am SO picky and it really takes me a while to know if I like someone. Usually I don't, but, if I am not sure I'll give the guy a chance. In this window of chance, it is soooo important to play your cards right. If you put the pressure on whether with asking me out for a variety of dates or talk about the future with me or try to do a lot while hooking up, it really makes me feel uncomfortable, turned off, and want to push you away. It makes me feel like you're obsessed with me (as Mariah says) and makes me feel like I definitely am not on the same page as you are, in which case, maybe it means I don't like you. In reality, it could be that I am not sure and may one day like you, but at that point I don't see it that way.

I say in the beginning be VERY attuned to signs from the girl. Make sure she is not acting quiet or kinda stand offish because if she is, she may be feeling uncomfortable. It is hard, especially because you do not know her well and you do not know if she's acting quiet or if she's just like that. If you are a caring guy, you'll ask though and be aware of your actions. In addition, take some time between the first date and the next time you see her and talk to her. Do not bombard her with texts, IMs, or possible dates to go on with you. It's just too much, too soon.


I would like to ask the readers out there how to propose that a guy slow things down without offending or seeming immature or inexperienced? Is it weird to say I feel like things are going kinda fast and I am not sure how I feel.. etc?

With reference to a persistent guy, what's a good way to keep things casual when it appears that he wants to see you A LOT and you just aren't so sure and do not want things to progress so much so quickly??

Questions? Comments?

Sincerely,
Venus